I want him to be happy

[stilllookingup]

Hi JRG,

Thanks for stopping by. Going dark for me had to be done I think. Before I use to text him ALL the time. Funny pictures, funny incidents, complaints, grocery shopping lists... So not texting to get his attention is a major 180 for me too. Since he left, he commented on an old picture of his grandpa I have on my fb, asked me if I was going to his SIL family event. Neither time I initiated.

I still sent out Mother's Day cards and plan on sending Father's Day cards to his in laws. I have a great relationship with his in laws. Don't get me wrong though - I don't do those things hoping to get them "convince" H to come back because that's the last thin I want. I dont talk to them about current situation or my feelings unless asked. I simply continue having relationship with them because I deeply care about them and they care about me too. Even his best friend his wife welcomed me at their house the other day. I only told him before the visit I might cry when I see them both and he said that it is OK because we r all friends. I just couldn't believe the friendship they offer me. All these years I made excuses to not attend parties or gatherings they invited us and my H always hated and thought I didn't like them. I just can't believe how I had been the past years and I'm so mad at myself as I'm realizing all this.