And so the piecing begins.....

[Tryin2figuritout]

Concerned Listener - Thanks for the support!!

KD - Good assignments and here's my thoughts:

#3 vs. #2 - I've been able to see how all of our defense mechanisms pulled us apart. It was like a bad symbiotic relationship in when I didn't listen, she pulled away, which made me feel alone = depression. Now that I see this, I've been able to break the cycle by being a better man. Obviously right now, I know I'm not going to get what I want in terms of the relationship, but I've learned to control my emotions and my reaction. This is so important to be able to move forward.

I was depressed because that was the easy way out. I don't want that anymore as this has been a real gut check and each of us get one shot at this so why crawl under the rock when you can jump on top and see the sights!!

LL - I think I could use a re-read on the LL's that apply to us, so more homework!! Hated it in school, but really thriving on it during this mess!!

#7 - First thing I'm doing is only using opportunities where she brings up our R to discuss or provide her with insights / tools I've learned. She is desperate to see our LMFT (who she sees tomorrow) and really trusts her. She does trust me, but I don't think she's had that mental/emotional breakthrough yet to really listen to what I have to say on all this (mainly talking about my process through everything).

She has an older female co-worker who is also being super helpful to my wife. She's giving her great advice on all this about taking it slow to prevent falling into old traps, looking to starting fresh/going forward, etc. Good news is she's another person my wife trusts and listens to....

I'll have to give more consideration of steps I can make that will not ramp up the pressure.

Thanks so much for your insights and homework!!

Trying