Well I have decided enough is enough. I have probably focused to much on me being selfish (as per the W at DB) and therefore not trying to detach, but to try and show the W how keen I still am. After months of simply one text once a week, with the only reply being "thanks" or "u2", my mental state is not getting better. Therefore I have decided to go dark. I will not contact her, simple as that. I need to learn to detach otherwise I will continue to be a basket case and not improve. Yes, I have made a lot of internal changes, I know I am better because of these changes, but the struggle is with being co-dependant, being fixated on the W and whether I am doing the right or wrong thing. No more. I haven't contacted the W since the 1st June, so that is my starting point.
My new goals as of now: * Go dark - no contact with W unless she initiates * Focus on me and my improvement - BE THE HUSBAND W REGRETS LEAVING * Read for half hour each day - generally self improvement books * Play guitar for half hour each day - learn to play "I won't give up". * No discussion about W/Marriage with anyone except my brother * No contact with W's family - unless they initiate or to send a birthday card * Continue to ring my son's weekly - always positive - no Mum talk * Text the boy's weekly
I haven't and won't give up on the W, just need to detach. So my mantra of "faith, hope and love" is for these reasons: Faith - in that I can detach and become a better person for it Hope - That my improvement brings a better life that what I have now Love - The continued love for the one person in my life who really matters. The love for my boys and family. The love of the new me and how much effort I am putting in to do this.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
