Can I find and fix me while not closing the door on my M?
That is what standing and dbing is all about. It is about figuring out the changes you need to make and finding a way to make them. It is about storing your marriage safely in a box for now in order to find you.
Can I focus on me and still make 180 to how I was in my M?
I dont know, J. Can YOU?
Originally Posted By: jp787
Right now I don't think I can do what I need to do for me, as long as I am so tied to my W.
I have to find a way to let go of my rope and I am terrified I wont.
That is my hurdle.
Those ^^^ were your words, sweetie.
So, you need to figure out a balance that works for you, my friend. While there are similarities in all of our sitches, there are also many differences.
The key to this for you, I think, is the detach enough so that your actions and reactions are not determined by her.
And yes, I looked, you did say you were in. Where I am from, we go all in or we dont go at all.
Whatever you decide, I am going to support you, J. As I've told you many times, I dont quit. I am always all in.
Keep looking inward. Keep questioning and pushing to figure things out. Keep growing and changing.
Forge your own path, J.
All I want for you is for you to see that you are worthy. That you find whatever it is you are looking for and heal, my friend.
Where I am from, we go all in or we dont go at all. 
