J, you do see this game you both play. You pull back, she tries to pull you in.

You get pulled in and you start to spin. You start to spin and she starts to pull away.

She pulls away and you start to spin. And round and round you go.

I do understand that you feel you neglected her in your marriage.

But the thing is, all of that ^^^ is not healthy. It's not getting you where you need to be. It's not really changing the dynamic between you.

She wanted out. Her choice, right? She felt the need to pull away from the marriage. She had her reasons. She needs to work through it all.

And you need to really and truly start the real work on you.

You said you were all in. Are you?