You're right, snodderly. I have grown so much, but my H likely hasn't, at least not in a way that would make this situation any better. I keep thinking that he should be able to see things clearly now, but that hasn't been his goal or focus.
He and I are so different. He bails, I cope. He's pessimistic (things will never get better), I'm optimistic (things always get better, though lately I've struggled with this). He thinks of himself, I think of others.
His thinking about the house frustrate me. When the market went south he wanted to sell, fearing it would only get worse. We didn't have enough equity to cover the realtor's costs, but he was willing to pay the difference. I felt differently. I believed the market would turn around. Plus, rent in our area is ridiculously high, so I didn't see that as an option. It was important to me to maintain our family home. My H sees this as my happiness being tied to a material item. He still believes I should sell the house, but he refuses to see that rent is more than the mortgage, it's a waste of money and there's no write-off. So, being levelheaded paid off. There is over $100k in equity based on current comps. My H wants half. It's funny how he's never thanked me for my sound judgement or my willingness to continue to pay the mortgage so the boys could have stability. He's only come up with a ridiculous scenario (he decided he had to find a way to convince simple minded me why he was now entitled to half the equity even though a year go he made it clear that he would no longer be liable for anymore losses) which started out "Let's say a couple walked into a casino...." We'll, he lost me right there.
