B, I understand. You need someone to listen while you are bouncing thoughts around. We all have days of crazy thinking and there's nothing wrong w/talking it out either here or at an Alanon meeting. Please try not to allow those thoughts to fester and eat at you. You have entirely too much living to do and there's a world out there waiting for you to embrace it and enjoy it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
