We all have our own unique versions of "tangled messes". What becomes clear is, as we step back and take a more holistic look at each sitch, the themes become similar.
Whether your H's earnings are in the top 5% or not, one thing you are noticing is clear. Money can disappear faster than it comes in.
Also, your H blaming you for HIS life is such common part of the WAS script. Plus, in the current context of your M, he IS having an A.
Keep working on yourself. I am certain that you wish to be in a hetero, mono M with him at this time, and may choose to do so for life. For now, keep that in mind as you move forward, it can help keep you grounded.
I'm not sure if you mentioned whether you have been working. Is that something that you could consider, at this point? If he's financially starting to withhold from you, you will want to figure out how to support yourself in the mean time.
