It is said that piecing can be harder than the work just post BD. Not because it is hard for two people to get together. Rather without doing some major work, the two of you are prone to repeat past behaviours and could end up back here again for the same reasons.
This will take time and is still SBT work.
What is her LL and what is yours?
Aside from her fear that she could be the reason the R fails, what pressures do you think she feels and how can you pull back in those areas?