M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Right now I don't think I can do what I need to do for me, as long as I am so tied to my W.
I have to find a way to let go of my rope and I am terrified I wont.
That is my hurdle.
I know you know what that means for me and to me.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
People say they would walk through fire, that they would climb the highest mountain, that they would die for their spouse.
What about dropping the rope and letting go...
That is more difficult than anything else I could have imagined.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Here's the thing. Is holding onto the rope getting you closer to your goal of fixing you and having a healthy relationship with her?
You have to understand that the present is not working for you and you need to do something different.
You have to believe that no matter what, you will be ok.
Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith, J. You just have to have muster up a little bit of strength and go for it.
I cant give you a guarantee when it comes to your wife. I wish I could.
But I can tell you that if you dont do the work, you will be right back where you started in no time.
Love her enough to let her go for now.
That is the greatest gift you can give her and yourself.
Lovingly let her go. Unconditional love right there.
I want so much for you to have the kind of life you should have.
One without such burdens and fear. One with lightness and happiness. One where you feel worthy and whole.
The very first step is in you wanting it. It is a promise to yourself that you will do whatever it takes to become the person you want to be - no matter what. It is a promise that no matter how hard it gets, that you will not quit. It is a belief that this is the most important thing you can do in your life.
Take the leap, J. For you, for her, for your daugnters. You can do it.
jp, "i won't give up" is the first song I am going to learn on the guitar. Just have to keep learning how to play the guitar first, but I do have all the tabs for this song ready to go. Even got some youtube videos of how to play it.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
In case you fear freezing up verbally or physically, then write to your wife if you drop the rope.
Tell her at least some of the things she needs to hear. She deserves an explanation of some sort. Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
In case you fear freezing up verbally or physically, then write to your wife if you drop the rope.
Tell her at least some of the things she needs to hear. She deserves an explanation of some sort. Make sense?
I don't freeze up now. I am on the flip side so to speak. I want everything now.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
W texted me about this and that and it came to a point to where I said I didn't think we were ready to be together right now. She now is asks:
So per you... what makes us not ready.
Do I be honest and tell her?
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
J, Just my opinion, but, I am not so sure that it is a good idea to write to your wife right now.
There really isnt anything that you are prepared to tell her, that you havent already said. And the rest, well, you need to work through.
And when you drop the rope, you just do it. You begin to live your life. You work on you and you look inward. You realize that you can only control you and that you cannot allow your feelings to be controlled by your wife's actions or words.
There will be a time, when you are whole again, when you are strong and have figured yourself out, that you can begin to take a look at your wife and your marriage and see where it stands.
That time is not now.
Let her go, J, so that you can really begin your journey. It really is the only way you can.
