You do know that if you say you are all in to a New Yorker there is no backing out, right? Just sayin....
I was thinking about something. You know when you are tying something and you get a knot in it, and you want to get the knot out, so you pull on it, but it gets tighter and tighter?
Stop pulling on the knot.
You are allowing yourself to get knotted up on this secret. And let me tell you, therapists have heard it all. I'm pretty sure nothing can shock them.
And I get that you opened yourself up to that woman and she freaked and that shook you.
Some of my friends on here will tell you that it took me a looonnnggg time to be able to open up to people.
I know for me, part of it stems from those walls I put up so I couldnt get hurt. Part of it was from being disappointed when I did open up, part of it was that I never really felt safe.
And the truth of it is, that is still something I struggle with. So trust me when I say, I get that.
The thing is, that it is really no way to live. In order to love someone and love ourselves, we have to be able to share ourselves. We have to be able to connect with others. And we cant do that if we are fearful.
I am not going to be able to promise you that if or when you share your deepest thoughts with someone, that they are not ever going to have an adverse reaction.
But I am going to tell you that when you do open up, great things can happen. People can see you, they can feel you. Your world opens up, J. It does.
And sometimes people cannot see us for who we are and judge us. And that's ok, too. When you are able to embrace you, with all your flaws and imperfections, those people will not matter.
You will just learn to include the ones who do.
It doesnt bother me anymore if someone doesnt like me. I like me. And the people I care about like me. Those other people, they are not part of my life.
So, are you ready to make that promise, J? Because if you are, I am going to hold you to it. All five feet of me.
