round and around we go

[Tallula]

I couldn't read the responses yesterday. I had to put the computer away. I was covering my ears and my eyes. Here I was thinking, detach so h will miss me and want to come back to me instead of detach so I can learn to move on without H.I don't think H wants to come back at this point.

Detaching is for you! It also stops us from causing more damage to our M's. It's not about moving on or getting them to see anything. It's about taking the focus off of them, and putting it on us. That's why, coupled with GALS and 180's, WE get better regardless of what happens with our spouses.

I am more calm and peaceful today. Such strong emotions still rise up in me. Life is not fair, it is how we choose to respond. I know all of this.
I am pleasant when H is around. I have stopped asking the kids if their dad has called.
Not blaming H is something I am going to have to work on.

Ok, well in your previous posts you said you texted him alot and would bring up R talks and your interactions seemed riddled with guilt and anger. So, maybe I misunderstood. Or you just started being pleasant with him and asking your kids if he texted.

It's not about not blaming him, it's about not using his wrongs and an excuse to treat him badly. That's all.

Seems like the things Bug and I said may have upset you, and just know that we aren't trying to pick you apart or hurt your feelings. We are here to help. We have all been there.