My boss (who hadnt seen me in 4 mths) pulled me into his office and asked me what kind of drugs im on - He actually had the number to our employee assistance program in his hand.He said you look great but nobody transforms that quick
he was serious
That was the best compliment anyone has ever given me
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
That's awesome! It's nice to feel some payoff for all that hard work.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Awesome! Keep it up. I'm soooooo jealous of workouts, ha. I still workout a ton, but I'm going in reverse at 30 weeks pregnant. Could do 50 man push ups, now I'm down to 30 at a time. Regular planks I can hold for about 2-3 minutes before my lower back wants to smack me. Ha!
I swear, I read these things as realise my H isn't a total jerk. Ha. Even he gasped when I said not to bring any OW around the kids "T, WHY would I do that?" So sorry, bud, never thought you'd serial cheat on me so I was just checking, lol.
Have fun on the bike ride!! My kids love their bike seats!! This weekend we are going and it's s4's first time on the half bike that attaches to H's bike. He is PUMPED!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Hi PS!! I'm thinking you should be my personal trainer! Super achievements in taking care of your health!!!
You parents amaze me. You really do! Coping without kids is all I know and I can't imagine throwing those trials into the mix! You consistantly make really good decisions for your D3!!!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
The entry from the last page of my first ever journal. The first page was written as we were flying over the Atlantic together as a family on our first trip to Italy three years ago........
D3 is a beautiful 3 yo girl sleeping in her sleeping beauty sleeping bag on her bed in her beautiful yellow bedroom that I painted . Her mommy is on the other side of the country under the same moon doing who knows what with another man that I don't ever want to know.
I don't care and I can't care because her mommy is a flake. I need to step up and be the best daddy in the world. I only have one chance at being a daddy and d3 can only be a little girl once.
She deserves so much more then only I can give. I don't know what I did -if I did anything to make wife run away. I don't understand any of this but I don't have time too.... D3 is a beautiful 3year old girl sleeping in her sleeping beauty sleeping bag in her beautiful yellow bedroom under her ceiling that has glow in the dark stars and planets that she and her mommy and her daddy all put up together during a happier time.......together.
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Tallula and Positivespin, congrats to you both for the working out. Though Tallula I would think that at 30 weeks pregnant doing the plank is cheating, that would be 5 body parts touching the ground. Ha ha.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Tallula and Positivespin, congrats to you both for the working out. Though Tallula I would think that at 30 weeks pregnant doing the plank is cheating, that would be 5 body parts touching the ground. Ha ha.
The belly doesn't touch the ground...yet. Ha!! But, now its does with the man push ups. Boo, I have to do girl ones...
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I am/ have been battling through a period of guilt. Lets top that guilt with a healthy topping of low self esteem. Sprinkle a bit of negativity about how much I dread almost every aspect of my life (work,empty house that im trying to maintain but have gotten no offers) and put the fact that my wife asked about MY plans for the divorce last week as the cherry on that Sunday.
I have ALOT more work to do on myself. For the last 3+ months I had set June 22 as a goal date. This date was the day of the Jimmy Buffett concert I was attending and built a great weekend around. I have achieved all of my goals and now that weekend that I have looked so forward too is past.....
I put all my eggs in one basket - Rookie mistake
At this moment im directionless.
D3 spent her first overnight in my wifes nasty apartment. D3 says "it smelled bad". I also allowed my wife to introduce D3 to the OM in a VERY public area.
My W caused this shipstorm but I need D3 to be affected by this as little as possible....This means her spending time with her mother.
My guilt comes because D3 is being affected by this- wondering where Mommy is, a backslide in potty training, separation issues and anxiety- and Mommy is of the mindset that "she is young she will adjust"
OK- now im crying again
I stepped back from the site because I was unable to differentiate the giant knot of feelings I was experiencing. I wasnt able to process- I was just moving through my responsibilities faster and faster. There is so much great wisdom here but I was unable to receive it.
In my public life I had built so much. Now I feel like im letting people down when I have step back from committees or not volunteer for events that I participated in for years.(The people who organize these events are MASTERS of laying on guilt to keep volunteers) AT the same time im not telling the real reason why yet. I still hold out hope that we can be a healthy family again.
I also realize that while I was a good provider and a good father I needed to be a husband for my wife. I needed to be romantic, I needed to push/demand date nights, I needed to stay fit and attractive - I own that now
I have been journaling every night before bed. Even this piece is emotionally draining for me right now.
I know this is all over the place and unreadable but everything is flowing and my soul needs an audience.
Im back- ill be reaching out to all of my friends individually very soon after I catch up.........
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
I am/ have been battling through a period of guilt. Lets top that guilt with a healthy topping of low self esteem. Sprinkle a bit of negativity about how much I dread almost every aspect of my life (work,empty house that im trying to maintain but have gotten no offers) and put the fact that my wife asked about MY plans for the divorce last week as the cherry on that Sunday.
I know what you're going through, PS. You know what, though? We're not the horrible guys ours Ws would like to think we are. We did the best we could with the tools we had at the time. We have already learned a lot since then and we are not the same person they left. We are becoming men that only fools would leave. If they choose to do so, it's their loss!
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I have ALOT more work to do on myself.
Most people do!
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At this moment im directionless.
So set some new goals and find some new direction! You've done it before, you can do it again!
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D3 spent her first overnight in my wifes nasty apartment. D3 says "it smelled bad". I also allowed my wife to introduce D3 to the OM in a VERY public area.
I'm so sorry. When I think of an adjective to describe somebody who would detonate a relationship and family like what has happened to you, the word that keeps coming to mind is "perverse." It's not right. I wish you and your D didn't have to go through this.
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My W caused this shipstorm but I need D3 to be affected by this as little as possible....
So admirable! You're a good man!
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Mommy is of the mindset that "she is young she will adjust"
That is so selfish.
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Now I feel like im letting people down when I have step back from committees or not volunteer for events that I participated in for years.(The people who organize these events are MASTERS of laying on guilt to keep volunteers) AT the same time im not telling the real reason why yet. I still hold out hope that we can be a healthy family again.
Good! Keep the road home smooth! I know what you mean about feeling like you let people down and I've been through the masters of guilt thing. The most important thing I've learned from my fraternal order is how to say "No."
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needed to be a husband for my wife. I needed to be romantic, I needed to push/demand date nights, I needed to stay fit and attractive - I own that now
Yeah, I learned that a little late myself. Still, my W was not without her faults in this arena, and I'm sure yours was not either.
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I have been journaling every night before bed. Even this piece is emotionally draining for me right now.
You're doing better than me. I think about my sitch as little as possible.
I'm glad you're back PS. If you're ever on the left coast, I'd like to buy you a beer or two.
