wiscn, a few days have passed since you last posted.
Live and learn, I don't think you need us to tell you that you need to refrain from badmouthing your W if you hope to save the M.
That said, stop badmouthing your W. Also, figure out how to use what ever anger you have toward her, in positive, productive ways.
Did you apologize to your W? Was it sincere? ie. Not sincere that you were upset you got caught. Rather, sincere that you really said those things in anger, will work on that issue of yours, and wish her no harm and a happy future.
Also, as difficult as this is, and that you DO think you want to save your M, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with your W, if that was possible?
