Hi Kate!... Oh it's soooo not easy! But I'm still standing. (even if it's on my own)
Last night I was thinking... My marriage may never be reconciled but if and when it's all over, I will walk out of it knowing that I put the work into it. That I gave it everything I've got. I rode every emotion and I dealt with my own demons. It's all about me in the end right?
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
My marriage may never be reconciled but if and when it's all over, I will walk out of it knowing that I put the work into it. That I gave it everything I've got. I rode every emotion and I dealt with my own demons. It's all about me in the end right?
LOVE this RT. you are amazing my friend, becoming quite a surfer (of feeling waves) .. keep these sentences handy so they can help you through the tough times.. hope you enjoy your weekend GAL.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
Thank you so much Grace! When I get a thumbs up from you it really means a lot. Sometimes I don't post on your thread or Wonka's, SD's, Val's, or Bug's because I recognize that you all are so much further than me in this journey. But I read, and read... and when you all take time to walk with me, I just feel so supported.
I'm here now because I want to text my W. I have come up with an excuse. Our very dear friend and neighbor told me this morning that she and her son are moving Aug. 1. My wife and I have been the village that my neighbor has depended on to help with everyday life and her son feels like our own. She is a single mom, a LBS (when she first adopted him her partner of 17 yrs bailed). We met him when he was 5... he's now 14. He's been in alot of trouble lately with adoption/abandonment issues from his birth parents and has landed in trouble with the law.
My W knows. She and he have always been so connected. Daily love and interactions were the norm for so many years... but he has been worse since she left. He doesn't know any details but is super smart and just knows my W (his BFF) is not here and it has truly impacted him.
Today his mom told me she has decided to move him back upstate to her family to have even more support for him. I approve. I will make the time to visit and maintain our relationship. But my disappearing W has vanished from his life as well. (he texts her, leaves messages for her.. and doesn't get a timely response and it hurts him)
So today I thought. "When she finds out they are moving or have moved... and I didn't tell her... she will be mad at me." I FEAR that she will take the opportunity to blame her lacking relationship with him in me. When in truth... she abandoned not just me and her job... but her friends and this young man when she left for sparation and unhindered dating of AP.
Do I tell her? I asked my neighbor if she was going to call and tell her. She said no. She is hurt by my W.
I struggle to "Fix".
It's all so much bigger than my ego.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Please NAIL me on the word "EXCUSE"!!! loud and clear
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Luuuvvv!!! Needed that InIt! I know I'm just thinking, "what the hell was that Bent Not Broken text?" Where is she now? I won't contact. So since I know I won't... as you will stop me lol!... How do I handle the "Why didn't you tell me they were moving?" blame game?
Nevermind. I could delete that thought but I will let it stand as a reminder for when I read my own thread (as I do sometimes for reflection) that "What If's" and mind reading are futile, ridiculous, and a waste of mental space.
So says my rational mind. Woe is me.. strap on... I might be in for a loop. Really? The last text and then nothing?
I've got a GAL activity to go to. Thank the Lord! This my friends is why MWD wants us to GAL... keeps us busy and out of trouble!
InIt, I haven't checked your thread yet... I will after dinner with friends. Thanks for the wallop girl! I needed it!!!!! I was this (tiny violin) close to texting her!!!!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Just wait until the next time she makes contact with you & in your reply you can be like...oh, btw our neighbors are moving on August 1st to be closer to family. Maybe that could suffice?
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12
Last night I was thinking... My marriage may never be reconciled but if and when it's all over, I will walk out of it knowing that I put the work into it. That I gave it everything I've got. I rode every emotion and I dealt with my own demons. It's all about me in the end right?
This is exactly what I have been thinking for the last 7 and half months. I will hold my head up high, knowing I did everything I could.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
