You will go up and you will go down. Especially when you throw hormones in!
Being easy on myself has been the hardest and best thing I've learned to do. It goes hand in hand with just feeling my feelings and moving on. When we fight them, or tell ourselves we should "be better" "get over it" '"i was fine yesterday", we just prolong the crazy. Just because I'm sad one minuted, don't mean I'll be sad forever. Just because I can't "act as if" one day doesn't cancel all the work I've done. Emotions and life ebb and flow. I kept asking myself what I was afraid of? My H leaving me pregnant? That I'm a dummy for standing? That I'm crazy for thinking it's over? Now am I a moron for letting him move into the basement? I just lean into it. Yep, I was afraid of bursting into tears infront of my H and that that was the thing that would push him over the edge to leaving... Um... hello? He was already gone.
I'm going to be me, regardless. But first, I had to love me. Warts and all. It seems silly, but you are great the way you are. Messy parts and all.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
