Trying to stay in it, keeps getting harder. #3

[in_it]

I originally bought the card last week when we were in a better spot. Good idea, I think I'll put it in my night stand for a while.

I'm not so sure the anniversary thing is what is upsetting me so much? I think it's the icing on the cake. I always have these horrible days when H is gone.

I really want to yell at him. Confront him. Tell him to choose, right here & right now.

What's happened to me? I used to be so much stronger. Ready to stand for my M & not let this stuff get in my head as bad as it is today. I was a pro at acting "as if". Am I giving up? Have I hit that wall?