Feel your body and see what you need tonight. Gal, sit with your emotions and just let them happen, post away on the board, have a fantastic meal. Take care of you right now.
(((SFC)))
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
SFC, sorry to hear this. Feel your emotions. Go for a walk. I know it not easy right now, but it will get better. Come to this board and let us know how you are doing. We are here to support you.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Thanks everyone! I am preparing the answer to her complaint. W has gone for a no fault quickie divorce.
I am just caught in a quagmire on what to do and how to proceed. Going diving this weekend to GAL. Doing my best to not be depressed, but damn is it hard.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Thanks everyone! I am preparing the answer to her complaint. W has gone for a no fault quickie divorce.
I am just caught in a quagmire on what to do and how to proceed.
Keep in mind that D is not the end of things. If you're not up on Crimson's sitch you might read his threads, it wasn't until after D that things started turning around. D has a way of making the WAS feel liberated and free, it takes all the pressure off. That in turn can allow them to see the LBS in a different light.
Quote:
Going diving this weekend to GAL. Doing my best to not be depressed, but damn is it hard.
Good, you're doing the right thing! And keep in mind that you have every right to be down/ depressed over this. Own your feelings! If you feel like crying then have a good cry! My W let me know about a month ago that she would be filing after the kids got out of school for the year. I had myself a good cry that night, first time in many months. The next day I felt tons better and within a few days I was right back to my normal happy self. So own those feelings, but do continue your GAL activities, it's the quickest path to healing.
Well, GAL went well this weekend. Certified 6 more new Open Water students, and helped out with a Rescue Diver in training. Camped at the dive sight, and avoided contacting the W.
Came home last night but W didnt say anything to me and went to bed. This morning was small talk (pleasant), but nothing more.
Still working on my response to W's divorced complaint with the court. Not sure how to proceed. Some of the answers were straight forward, but I am not sure if I should concur with the "mutual consent" for divorce. At this point, I am not sure fighting it would be worth while. So, it looks like if I continue down the path I am, I will be D in 90 days.
The only thing we havent talked about is the divorce agreement, and all that entails. I have avoided all R and D talk like the plague...but its ugly head is sure to rear itself shortly.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Oh I am so sorry you have to go through this. I wish there was something awesome and great I could say to take some of the hurt away. Hang in there and know we are all here for you.
Limbo..Too be honest, the W'S coldness and systematic approach to the D has kind of awoken me. Am I still hurting? Guess I would be fooling myself if I thought not...but life does go on. I gave this woman 16 yrs...sacrificed everything. Gave her every penny I earned, worshiped her like a goddess, and raised our SS as my own. I was there during every dark day, illness, and financial squeeze. I encouraged her to go back to school, and to get in shape.
And my reward after she reached a higher wage position, a degree, and killer body? Kicked to the curb. So in the big scheme of things...am I better off staying and remaining a doormat...or dive into the unknown and take a walk. That latter sounds better everyday...its her loss.
W is now figuring out insurance and other problems (she left her notepad on the kitchen table)...so this D is happening...whether I fight her and make her wait the two years out, or I grant the mutual consent...and just get it over with.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
This is such a hard road to travel and know what is the right decision to make. It sounds like you did a great job so don't beat yourself up. Keep coming here and let it out. I would be lost without all of you. Just keep breathing. I think you are a strong person and you can do whatever has to be done. Take care.
Limbowife...I know this sounds hollow, but many of the vets on the board are right about several things. The one thing they are dead right about is....it does get easier/better. Sure, we LBS are crushed initially...and if you allow it to drag your ego through the mud, only make the pain last even longer.
But what DB and other on the board taught me was to not be so incessantly needy to the point that my life was over if the W wanted out. In all this pain, I have learned several things, but the most important is to respect myself and realize I did everything I could to save the M. She chooses to walk away, so...I hope she finds what she is looking for. I bet the grass wont be so green once I am gone.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Another gut punch (just when you think your ok with your sitch). Came home from my weekend GAL diving again. This time, our wedding picture in the living room is gone...and she took down a picture of us in the kitchen, and downstairs bathroom.
Weird, because theres still pictures of us in her dressing closet. Guess she may have had a visitor this weekend, and didnt want them up....or am I just mind reading.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
