Trying to stay in it, keeps getting harder. #3

[in_it]

I will. I'm not going to contact her. I know there is no good in that.

Right now the hardest thing is not texting him. I don't want to start anything, so I'm not going to text because at this point I know it probably wouldn't be anything nice.

I did by H a card last week. Here's my question...do I give it to him tomorrow when he gets home? Leave it on his night stand? Throw it away? It's nothing mushy. Pretty generic.

Also I'm feeling like I don't know how to act when he gets home??? Do I talk to him? I'm certain he will be very cold & distant. I know it will be extremely uncomfortable. I don't know what to do.

Sorry, my mind is racing & this post has turned out to be a mess & all over the place. I'm so confused & hurt right now.

When H left on Monday morning he gave me a huge hug, embraced me. It felt nice. He told me he cares Tuesday morning in a text & then Tuesday night I find out he's not coming home until Saturday. Oh, and technically he told D7-not me.