Husband has one foot out the door!

[AnotherStander]

Hello, sorry you have to find yourself here but this is a great community full of wonderful people Your H is in a lot of turmoil right now, and you're putting too much pressure on him. He has got to figure this out himself, there's nothing you can do to speed it up or help him. You've got to back off and give him time and space.

It started in February of this year when I asked if if he still cared for me

For now don't ask him anything like this. He will not give you answers you want to hear, so just don't ask (because asking is pressure). Read Sandi's DB tips (sticky at top of forum) and LIVE those rules.

We then talked ALOT about everything and decided to do counselling.

Traditional MC doesn't work with a WAS. If you can afford a DB coach your money is better spent there. Don't push your H to do further MC, it's more pressure and it usually hurts the sitch more than help it.

We did counselling for about 3 months and our relationship started improving in a lot of ways, such as better communication, more respect, less fighting, etc. and we even had some nice dates.

That's your perception. He probably didn't think the same. It's not unusual for WAS's to "appear" to be trying, but they're really just doing it to prove to themselves that they're done.

Then a few days later he was looking confused so I asked him about it.

That's another form of pressure.

The next day I asked him if he were 100% sure because I was going to start telling people.

And so is that. You've got to stop the pressure, because you're pushing him right out the door. You need to act "as if" everything is fine. Pull back, leave him to think things through, work on yourself. There is no need at all to start telling people, don't do it because that too will harm your sitch. People mean well, but when they butt in they just drive the WAS farther away and the WAS will blame it on the LBS.

He said that no he wasn't sure and asked to have a few days to think it over.

Do not ask him if he's made a decision, just let it go. Quit pushing him about the M. DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE until you read DR cover-to-cover. Things may seem urgent to you, but you have time, so don't rush your H. Read the book, it'll show you what to do and not do. You're at high risk of doing the wrong things right now, that's why it's important to read the book. And devour the forums postings too, you'll learn a lot from reading about what others here have gone through.

Good luck!