I choked up reading your post because it brought back so many memories. Like UR said they will be watching you so you have to be their rock no matter what's going on or how you're feeling.
In my sitch I spent first week just being there for D7 (my S didn't really understand). After a few days when the initial shock wore off we sat down and had a talk about feelings and emotions. I assured her that we would all be ok and made sure she knew she was loved greatly and this had nothing to do with her. I told her it was ok to feel upset, angry, nervous and any other feeling she had. I also made sure she knew she could talk to me about anything. I've also not talked badly about my W (which God knows has been hard at times). She's been amazingly resilient and is doing much better then I thought through it all. She's asked me a lot of questions and I answer her as honestly as I can (I obviously withhold things as well to protect her). It's no doubt tough but just make sure they see you being strong and know you are there for them because you strength will help them through this.
Good luck buddy, you are in my prayers tonight.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
