round and around we go

[Tallula]

yes, BUT...its one thing to do it to me. quite another for him to do to his kids who love him unconditionally( maybe that is my jealousy showing thru) I do all the parenting!

Ok, look. I get it. The few times I have suggested say to take the focus off your H, you respond with BUT HE!!!
We are all dealing with the same thing here. They don't just ignore us but the kids too. My H has done it, yours isn't unique. Many on here have dealt with abuse way worse and you or I have. Anger is justified. My H went a month barely seeing his YOUNG (2 and 4) children...AND I'M PREGNANT!!! I don't say this to be like "Hey, my deal is worse.." I say this to say, I understand. All of us here understand. You don't have to explain why you are angry. I know why you are, and I'm not saying you can't feel that way or that you shouldn't... BUT

What is your goal?

You really need to get clear on this. If your goal is to keep the path home clear for your H, you need to start doing the things suggested. Few texts or calls, calm & pleasant interactions with H. No bringing up R talks, etc. Trust me, I'd be all "happy, happy!" when my H would call and cancel on the kids YET AGAIN...get off and go to town on a punching bag, go off on him to my friends or come here and vent. But to him, "Ok, fine." Then I stopped telling my kids they would see him. The R between my kids and H is there business. They are lucky to have mothers like us who care. If you don't know what you want, then get clear on that.

The suggestions here are solid. They help you! They help us to stop harming our R, and put the focus on ourselves.

Please know, I'm not trying to beat you up! I see alot of anger in your posts and interactions with H, and I'm just trying to get you to keep your goal in mind and try some of the suggestions. Heck, sometimes I took the high road just to show "Neener Neener, I'm better than you, you crazy jerk!!" but I thought more curse words...heheh. I know soooo many times my H would say/do something crazy hurtful or just plain dumb, and I'd want to smack the c r a p out of him or scream. But, I didn't. Today I'm gratful. I focused on only the things I have control over, myself. Let them be all crazy and silly. Because, trust me, that is what everyone around us was thinking. Even my H's best friend said the following when he helped my H move his things back in this weekend "So, now you have to be a responcible adult. How do you think you'll pull that off..." Hehe.

You are doing great! Especially with your GALs and such.
BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!