well i got up today and have to work from home and I used to love doing that but hate it now. I just cant stay home any more. I need to be out.. But i have 2 things today 1st is a DB coaching session. and then a theropist session. I feel alot of anxity today and not sure why.
I do know that I just seem to no matter how hard i try to not think about my W i still do. Just so many question in my head and no answers. I have had NC as each person said including my Coach i talked to on monday. I think one thing is that i feel why does my W have it better than i do now. I know stupid and i should not care but it is in my head. also still even with the things i know and well have been told think is she really Gay... who knows. I do want to talk but at this point i have so many questions that i do nto know if i could just talk. i als think it may get out of hand. I mean that some time i think i have been stuffing alot of my anger for a long time and just am afraid of how i may react if things go wrong.
I pray that im doing the correct thing if there really is a corrct thing to do. I feel that whatever we do we do and we just have to deal with the outcome.
I know i dump a lot here but i thank you all for letting me. I know im not the only one feeling this way however i feel like i am.
Just so hard to not talk to W and get answers to my questions. also do i really have any chance or what it has been so long. so much anxiety over so much today. How do other deal with all this type of stuff.
