One of mine is doing everything around the house.. One of his biggest complaints was that I never finished the laundry. Slight exaggeration, I would often finish it but occasionally need help. Anyway, I decided that either way when Im single Im going to have to do it all anyway, why not do it all now..
About 3 weeks ago, I began doing just that.. Wash, fold, put away EVERY LOAD, every time. I have come to wuite enjoy doing all the things around the house.
He has moved into the guest room downstairs. One day I was doing laundry, and I texted him to ask if I could go grab his dirty clothes so that I could have a full load. His response was "whatever, I dont care." While in there, I also cleaned his room and made his bed. He loves having the bed made everyday, and in my opinion its part of the house that I chose to take care of. Since, I have just been doing that every day. He rarely sleeps here, so, its not much to keep up.
Fast forward to yesterday.. We had argued during the day, (detaching is my biggest hurdle) and when he came home he snapped at me, "Ive asked you several times to not clean my room or do my laundry." He had only said that once, and then had since said I could his laundry, and for 3 weeks never made mention of it.
My quandry is... Do I respect his wishes? It makes me feel like I am short changing myself, and not completely fullfilling my 180. Also, he has a tendancy to set me up for failure.... i.e. In two weeks he will likely say something like, "Doing my laundry didnt last very long, you just dont change, just take advantage." If I ask him again he will likely be angry.
Highlight of today... He didnt make any negative comments, and actually sat in the family room for a bit while I was tending to the horses. He even acknowledged me when he got home.
Downside; I did notice that he took our file box containing all of our important documents like marriage cert, birth certs for he, I, and my kids.. there are also tax papers and the scariest of all, the paperwork on the home.
Sigh...
M:42 H:40 T: 18yrs M: 14yrs Open R/M: 18 years D19 S24 From PM 1st S 6 '08 Reconciled 8 '08 H BD, separated 5/9/13 Filed for S on 6/12/13 H committed to monogamous GF now
