Letting Go & Moving Forward 2

[littleGTO]

Thanks, Tori, bustin' and FY,

I've been feeling a little thrown off course this week. Hopeful.

I was on this path of hopeless and now thoughts of "what if.." have been creeping into my brain.

All b/c H brought up a comment I made about how he could still come back if he chose to. He really seemed to hold onto that (I had almost forgotten I'd said it, to be honest...I know a statement like that shouldn't have been thrown out there freely but it was in response to his pouting about the party I threw and why didn't I include him in the planning right from the get-go. It was more like a statement of "if you'd lived here I would of course included you. You can still choose that if wanted.)

The truth is I wouldn't let him come back easily. I am in a different place now. He would have A LOT of growing to do and I would have A LOT of forgiving to do before I feel like any kind of R could happen.

BUt the fact that R has entered my brain at all is foreign. I don't know why the OW situation (he love for her) has left my thoughts. I have NO reason to believe she has left the scene. As early as a month ago he reinforced his feelings for her and had said he wanted to pursue a R with her (EA still at that point).

Still, I have this FEELINGS (based on no evidence what-so-ever) that someone is amiss w OW. NOt sure if she is trying to R w her H or has changed her mind about her impending D, or if they are still on the same path of wanting to be together.

I need to go back to my thoughts about my life w/o H (which it still IS).

On another note, a big job change a work may be happening VERY soon...not good or bad just different. Change can be good, right???