Need some Encouragement

[InnerStrength]

Hey Bluedown, my thoughts are with you as I know that temptation -- to text or call and make the seemingly harmless request for another chance. You have to put the phone down when that urge strikes. It's more pressure. You need to be loving (in a detached way) for sure but you need to be moving forward, not trying to cling onto her and what you had; have you seen the comparisons around here between DBing and martial arts like judo that use your opponent's own weight against them? If you're not fighting against what she is asking for, you can't be the enemy anymore. You're on her side! When you can do this, it's a major turning point in any situation.

I know it seems counter-intuitive but everything about dealing with a WAS is. Have you read Divorce Remedy yet? This will really help you get your head around the way your W is thinking. If you haven't it is really important you get your hands on it ASAP. These boards really helped while I waited for postage out to Australia but everything really clicked once I read the book for the first time.

I don't want to be the guy that recommends drugs, but I also found that implementing DB techniques from the get-go when I should've found it much more difficult to stay the course emotionally was much helped by getting on an SNRI. I was on Pristiq for about ~3 months and if you have trouble sticking to the DB plan in moments of emotional weakness it could be worth a look.