My uncle had a cottage on Honeoye Lake. I have some lovely memories of the place from when I was a wee little dyke. One time my Dad took me and my younger brother (3 and 5, at most) out on the uncle's motor boat, which ran out of gas in the middle of the lake. It was a loooong time before Dad got the tired hungry kids rowed to shore.
I'm going to dig up your email. Mine may not be the same. You know I'd love to see you.
Well, while I still have this thread, I might as well use it...
I'm going to report that I had a date last weekend. Well, she was probably just being hospitable, but when a hot dyke takes me to a ball game I'm counting it, dammit. This was fallout from that hormonal smackdown I got a couple weeks ago. She's completely uninterested, which was awkward, mortifying, and probably a good thing, really, since I'm not there yet. And I was staying with her for the whole weekend. Gawd.
The thing is, she was impeccably kind and gracious, which minimized my discomfort. She was also very open and honest as I asked her about ending her previous R. We had some deep talks that gave me a lot to think about and helped me gain some insight into P's perspective. She was also fun and easy to hang out with. That time together feels like a wonderful gift. It was a good, healing, connection. I hope it will become a friendship.
I feel like a weight has been lifted. Maybe it's just relief that the mortification is over. Ha!
I'm thinking that P is speaking her truth right now. It doesn't match mine. It doesn't match what I saw. It may change later. But, right now it is her truth. Several things she said to me were blatant, untrue stories that she clearly needed in order to bolster her resolve to leave. That doesn't mean that everything she's thinking is off base.
Maybe the necessity of leaving is another story, as I'd like to think. Maybe the good times were, as she claims. All I can know is that I would choose differently.
More than one non-DB person has said to me recently, "Maybe she was just the wrong person." That can't always be the answer. Sometimes it's true that we haven't been careful or honest or attentive enough in choosing. I can see that I can do better in that department, but I don't use it as an excuse. Lots of people wake up from the honeymoon rather shocked and horrified and still manage to make it through the challenges to the other side.
I guess MWD's question is a good one to ask (not sure exactly how she phrased it): "What would it take to make you leave the R?" On the one hand, it's good to know. On the other hand, people leave for other reasons than they might think of at the moment.
