Hey J, I brought this over because.....I can. LOL!
You feel what you feel, J. And it is ok.
You are sad because this is a sad thing. You miss your wife and your family and you are grieving.
But, you are so hard on yourself sometimes. You expect that you should feel a certain way in a certain amount of time and it just isnt so.
You are starting to process things. The reality of the situation is starting to really sink in.
You have been working hard to undertand you and that is tough stuff.
But, you appear to seem powerless here and you are not.
You hold all the power.
You can decide at any time how you are going to get through this. You can decide whether you are going to allow this to break you or build you up. You can decide that while this is a very sad thing, you will not allow it to define your life. YOu can decide how you are going to live your life moving forward.
You get to decide. Your choice.
So, feel the sadness. Then when you are ready, allow it to wash over you.
Because here's the thing - if you hold onto the sadness and anger, it doesnt change anything. All that does is allow you to stay sad and angry.
And that just weighs you down. But you can use those feelings to propel you forward. And then, man, who knows where that can take you?
