Nero, I think a phone call could be fun. Basically, take out my trash!
Dawn, thank you for your good wishes. Obviously, I am wishing you the same! It is strange how different our partners are - yours does not want to leave and mine has disappeared. I don't think one is harder than the other, just different. I do wish I was as done as you. Convincing myself has not worked.
Nero, I like your post about DBing above. I remember reading the book DR for the first time and thinking, I can do this! I never realized - and I do not think any book can convey - how truly deeply I was (and am) hurt by all that happened. This "final abandonment" has been the most difficult. Nothing shows no care at all like disappearing. And so, we do not DB perfectly. MLC is a slightly different animal than regular relationship problems.
Dawn, you are a good example of that. Even as he pours on the charm, there is something desperate about it and he still refuses to let go of this OW. She, as much as you has become his salvation. That way, if he "fails" he can blame you or her but not himself. It ocurred to me that is what my xSO is doing. Now, he can blame me for our "friendship" falling apart when his family or other friends ask about me. He tried, but I refused. Maybe that is what he wanted all along; someone else to blame. They test us, all the time and the truth is, we always fail their tests. We don't even know they are taking them. My xSO admitted as much to me.
Focus on you and in the end, you know you will be fine and when you have had enough.
