Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

[Cadet]

That said, w may still not agree to me coming home and then I will have to find a place to crash.

I would be shocked if she agrees.
I did not realize you were asking permission to move back in.

I thought you were just going to do it.

Who pays the expenses?

Is there a court order keeping you out?

[dorightman]

Haven't had the talk yet. Any suggestions as to how I should approach it?

[dorightman]

I pay the expenses, there is no court order keeping me out.

[MrBond]

I understand, but remember that she had some serious reservations about you. Especially your behavior.

You said that you mentioned it before. What did she say when you told her?

[dorightman]

She said she didn't want to live with me, but I've done a lot of work on myself since then. I understand her reservations based on the past. She is still acting cold and indifferent to me. She wants to talk in front of her C next week. I'm sure it will be the same story, I want a D, I want to sell the house, I don't feel in love with you.......

I guess I need to keep with Sandi's rules right? It doesn't seem like anything Im doing is having an effect on her. She is also talking to her divorced and cheating friends all the time for support, and I think that is keeping her from being able to see any changes in me.

[MrBond]

"It doesn't seem like anything Im doing is having an effect on her. She is also talking to her divorced and cheating friends all the time for support, and I think that is keeping her from being able to see any changes in me."

No. This is why she doesn't want to see any changes in you...

"I got mad, went to the kitchen where she was sitting. I asked her if she wanted to talk, she said no. I asked her if she wanted intimacy, she said no.

I then told her she was being passive aggressive and that if she thought I smelled bad to just tell me and to tell me to take a shower. Then I told her to smell me, put my armpit towards her and hugged her. She freaked out, punched me, kicked me, grabbed my throat. I backed off, she said she was going to call the police. I said I was going to take a shower."

This was just 3 months ago.

[dorightman]

Yes Bond I know. that was the worst of it! I will never ever do that again. That was after 6 months of living together while she wanted me out. I'm not proud of that moment and I understand it was only 3 months ago. I know I have to be patient, but my options are running out.

[MrBond]

What reassurances or plan do you plan to tell your W? You can't just tell her that you have no money so you're moving back. You have to have a plan of action that shows that YOU are in charge of how things go yet are respectful of her hesitation.

[dorightman]

Thank you Bond, that is very helpful! For the past 3 months things have been peaceful and respectful between us. I will talk about this and also how I'am aware of the danger of us fighting again. My plan simple as this may sound , is to leave the house if there is any chance of things escalating Before it does.

I'am also studying books on love everyday and it has been very helpful to me. I'am being present and loving when Im at my house with my family and my kids are loving me a lot

[MrBond]

"My plan simple as this may sound , is to leave the house if there is any chance of things escalating Before it does."

Too broad. You have to be more specific.