Do what works. So try the modified no contact or whatever gives you and him the space you need, the ability to heal and rebuild yourselves, feel good about the way you're going about things, and not get in the way of a potential reconciliation. Your idea sounds reasonable, and if you find it pushing him away more often than not, then readjust.

Exactly what are the benefits of you filing first? Exactly what are the benefits of controlling the timeline? I'm not clear on what those advantages are.

I didn't file because it's not my divorce. I don't think being patient has hurt me in any material way, and it was what I wanted to do.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.