Anyway.... I had a weird experience the other day. My W came home with some new swimsuits she bought on clearance. As I'm in the bathroom bathing the kids, she starts trying them on. Naked woman, lucky me!
One of the swimsuits was a bikini. W is self-concious about curves. I told her she looked sexy. She disagreed. Obviously, the excitement was too much for me. I touched her abdomen for about 1 second. A couple of minutes later I touched her leg. She didn't get angry, but she did giggle and say to "stop."
I felt bad. I knew I crossed a boundary. It was a backslide definitely. We hadn't been touching in months because she felt uncomfortable with it. Later that night, I asked her about how she felt when I touched her. She said it was weird because she already felt awkward in a bikini. I apologized. I asked her how she felt about other touching. She basically said it was too early. I thanked her for sharing and left it at that.
Early next morning, she texts me explaining that it was weird because we are distant. She says that she has been trying to include/invite me. She said everything recently has had to do with the kids/finances and not "us". She also hates being the one who always initiates stuff. She said that she "wants to be wanted or asked."
I responded by saying that I am good with weird. At least it is not anger/pain/resentment. I also related our awkwardness to that shown in the movie "Hope Springs" that we watched together. Then I took a leap. I asked her out on a date this weekend. I suggested bowling, dinner/movier, or walking/biking. She chose bowling.
I still live with my parents. Now it feels like I have a friend who might be interested in a romantic relationship someday. I just have to work harder/smarter than I did in my last relationship. It sounds kind of funny to think that my last relationship was with the same person. It's better that that relationship died though.
I feel like I'm in High School again getting ready to date a really hot girl. I feel like a new me starting a new life. I just need to remember to go slow (like giving a nut to a squirrel or waiting for the princess to come out of the castle).
