Thanks everyone! I am at the deep end here w my frustration because I believe at this moment I really want out!
My frustration is I was doing my own thing! He was texting me! He was stepping into my space, talking, share and disclosing himself. All the while he was still thinking he's having his family and his new life style too!
I just told him my version of how this is working out only after he tried to want to much of me without any of the hard work - you don't have my cooperation in this facade of a R, no I am not going to help you, is what I said. I also said the exact words above- your H is looking to you for the impossible because what he needs cannot be found in another.
Now that he didn't do that he felt like a looser and started trying to find strength in watching doc's on strong men, and Moby Dick!
He looks under every rock to find himself. I am not trying to be his rock, just a light. He yelled it's because he believes in God that he's trying to be supportive to one street person in hopes it will redeem him just a little, and put favor for him back in God's eyes.
My truth came out and I said, your so worried not to humiliate or dishonor yourself to EA's plight because you say she's so bad off, that you don't see the dishonor your bringing to this family.
He says he see's it very clear! But, we are saved already, nothing can take that away from us!
It's all too ridiculous for me to handle anymore. I have no sympathy for his pain when I see the guy is soo smart and calculating that he IS making these choices for himself. No matter who he hurts that's ok because he's in crises...
No quiero oír esa mierda nunca más, estoy tan cansado de esto!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
