round and around we go

[AnotherStander]

He justs stays busy with his job and doesn't think about us. He doesn't miss us because he is so consumed with his job.

This is just mind-reading. The WAS is a master of acting calm, cool, collected and confident on the outside. But inside a storm is raging, they're fighting with themselves over whether they're doing the right thing. They do miss their old life, but they're trying to convince themselves that a new life is a better choice. They'll keep going back and forth on that, but they'll never let the LBS know that storm is raging in there.

I want to send him text updates so that he can at least know we are having good days and are active and living our lives(me and kids)

If you're on Facebook and he's one of your "friends", this is actually one of the few things FB is good for. You can do stuff with the kids and post pics of it on FB. Not to him, but just as a timeline update. That way he'll see it without you having to send it directly to him. What you want him to see is that you and the kids are living a life without him and not just surviving, but actually enjoying it.

He doesn't text/talk with the boys very much.

In reading sitches here it seems that this is fairly common with WAH's and less common with WAW's. I'm not sure why that is, maybe it's because of women's maternal instincts. Anyway, it seems like WAH's do eventually come around and start reaching out to their kids again, but it can take a lot of time before that happens.

And, although it is good that it will keep me busy and focused, I have some underlying hostility about it... i'm doing this more so because I have to rather than want to. I am sure I can accomplish it, but I have some self doubt as well. I'm having a bit of a pity party.

Nothing wrong with a pity party as long as it's held in private and doesn't impact your kids or H It sounds like that even though you "have to" do this, it will lead to personal growth and development. So try and embrace that part of it!