Looking to keep hope alive

[ALF213]

I'm looking for some advice. My W says she is sad and angry about our M. In the past, I would try to give her things to focus on that made her happy. I was basically telling her to ignore those feelings, which to her, was me ignoring her feelings (which makes complete sense now). While I started doing a 180 by not doing this, I wonder if I should be asking about those feelings? If she says she is angry, do I ask her why she is angry and then validate? If one of the major issues she says she lost a connection with me is because I didn't listen, and by listening and asking open questions has resulted in her talking more recently, should I apply it to any R talk? Or should I just validate and avoid R talk? Help!