I was hoping that a Vet would have chimed in here for your questions. I am very new to this so, take this for what its worth.
Your WAS has put herself into this position all by herself. She chose not to uphold her marriage commitment to you. You should probably consider setting some boundaries with her to protect yourself. I would hesitate to make the D too convenient for her. By paying for everything she asks your setting a precedent that you will continue to do this the next time and the next.
I would think that she needs to take responsibility for her actions and learn to deal with it herself. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, feed him for life, comes to mind when I think of your situation.
Continue to be lovingly detached as they say. Try not to do things for her that she should be doing for herself. She will have to learn this eventually, the sooner the better. D is devastating for all involved. Take care of yourself too.
