I have spent the morning on the phone with CS lawyers who have told me I need evidence of XH's expensive lifestyle to append to my challenge to his claim that his annual income is only $45,000.
It seems like taking pics of him with 200.00 worth of chocolates and champagne is not the sort of thing they're talking about. Those were gifts after all, and he really didn't spend that much when it comes down to it. Had be been buying her a 10k fur coat, that would have been different. That would have been crazy and frivolous.
When I read this the first thing that popped into my head was 25's mantra that we are to keep the way home paved and smooth. Granted you were asked to gather evidence for your claim, but confronting H in a public place, trying to secretly follow him and take pics to prove his "frivolous" spending, well that seems to neither help your challenge to his claim nor keep the way home paved and smooth. Perhaps you are done with him as you've hinted previously, but even if you are, he is still the father of your children. As MWD says in DR, when children are involved there's no such thing as divorce. Meaning what? You are going to have a relationship with each other for the rest of your lives. So even if you don't feel keeping the way home paved and smooth is necessary, you should consider that you should make an effort to be civil with XH no matter how crazy he may seem. I know he's doing bad things, I know he's hurting you and probably the kids too. But you can choose to be the lighthouse- that solid, immovable structure that is a beacon of hope to others even as your husband throws his stormy tempest against the ramparts.
