Kd I get the most anxiety when she flips her iPhone over so I can't see who is txting her. When things are good she does not do this . 99% of time when she flips phone over she is txting other men. Now it could be her support system etc. that is the most anxiety. So if I notice she is doing that it gives me anxiety. She started doing this almost immediately after our vacation. I noticed disconnect and when I was brave enough to ask her what was up she said I'm smothered again and brought up a comment I made weeks before. Just being honest about triggers.
Another trigger is if I know she is going to lunch with friends or out with friends or especially mutual friends . Anxiety will sometimes drive me or urge me to ask mutual questions . For some reason it is a trigger for me.
Another trigger of anxiety is if she starts going out without rings on again . Anxiety spikes
A huge trigger and one I avoid is if I temp check and get rejected
Another trigger is if I happen to snoop and flip phone over to see who txts are from. I try to avoid this also but sometimes I slip.
Basically my wife is deceitful , says she only in m for kids ,will not counsel or talk I know my choices . Detach or file . Both not easy.
A trigger that is no longer a trigger is at night she goto bed and say nothing. No longer triggers
I try not to initiate conversations because any sort if rejection, non answers would trigger
