Having a rough time coping with these emotions. I've never felt such a loss before in my life. I just feel terrible today. I guess after 13 years of being with a person your lives become intertwined. I don't understand how she could be so happy with this situation. I haven't signed onto facebook in a whole week. I can't see her post another picture and comment with how happy she is. It's been almost 9 weeks since getting kicked out of the house and I'm still stuck in the grieving stage. How long does it take to get back control of your emotions?
Bluedown, don't always believe that she is happy in the situation either. She is probably just doing what DB tells us to do, GAL and PMA. Maybe it is just her way of pretending she is happy by putting the photo's up on facebook.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Listen to these people posting here on your thread. Their advice is golden. I can only speak from the perspective of my own situation, but GAL and PMA are two anacronyms you want to tattoo on your hand so that you will be constantly reminded of them.
Yes, our situation hurts....hurts badly....perhaps even worse than anything else we may have experienced before. But it "is what it is" as the saying goes. That does not mean that you have to LIKE it or AGREE with it...but you DO have to accept what you have been dealt.
Another thing that i keep saying over and overt in my head is detach....detach....detach.... It seems to help keep me mindful and present (and so, less emotional).
I hope you feel better real soon.
Me: 49 W: 47 M: 19 T: 25 Son:19 Dau:13 Son:6 BD: Aug: 2012 Separated - same house: May, 2013 Ultimatum to move out: Dec 2013 W looking to move out: January 2014 Dau says go, I move out: June 2014
Hi Bluedown~~ I know just where you are and how much it hurts. Just try breathing for now because sometimes that all we are able to do. I cannot help you with advice but just wanted to offer a hug. Hang in there.
Thanks Limbowife....needed that hug today. Detach, GAL, and PMA are so hard to do when I had a perfectly good life with my wife and two amazing kids. I find it so hard to stop thinking about them. I feel like a zombie just trying to make it through the day. I helped a friend build a fence today. It took my mind off the sitch for a couple of hours. My W texts me yesterday and tells me to reschedule the joint MC session on Monday. She's decided to spend another week out of town with family. I'm going back to the house twice a day to care for the dog. I have a lot of regrets. I missed so many signs that my W was unhappy over the last several months. I thought we had a happy Christmas and then a few rough months but never expected this. How are others dealing with regrets?
So Sunday was our 12 year anniversary. I made it to 8 pm without contacting her than I texted. We texted for awhile about nothing and I called her the next morning. I asked her for another chance at the marriage before she filed a divorce. Said she still hasn't made up her mind and will decide in the next couple weeks. Texted her again the next morning and no response. I'm overwhelmed with regret over letting us get to this point... Having a hard time dealing with the lonliness and regret.
Hi Bluedown. I too am struggling with regret big time. I am what iffing myself crazy!! I am just trying to keep moving forward as much as possible and working on GAL. I know how hard it is. And as for the loneliness that is another issue of mine. It washes over you and covers you like a blanket. I spend lots of time here reading and reading my DB books. It helps me to know I am not alone in this struggle and there are many people here to walk this road with us. Take care of YOU and just hang in there as best as you can. Sending lots of hugs and comfort.
