[quote=Takevowsserious] Hi my sweet friend. I have to agree with you. To answer him when he asks do you mind if I stay another day by saying yes would not be the right thing in my opinion. For the reasons you gave, but, also because by saying you do, it does a few things. From a dbing standpoint, it doesnt give him space and it can cause him to feel guilt or anger. And he clearly did not want an actual answer.
But much more importantly, he has to own his choices.
Oh UW... Still stewing over the latest developments... Feeling that anger rising up...
You have a right to feel angry, T. I mean, really, at the end of the day, your h is going away with twinkle to the beach and now while his sister is coming to visit. If you werent angry, I'd think there was something wrong with you.
I am angry for you.
I don't know how else to say this - I am just plain old disgusted with him. Yes, I know he's hurting and all that, but I am tired of being hurt because of how he chooses to deal with his pain.
I hear you on that. I always said that while I had compassion for my xh for his crisis, it didnt give him a free pass on his actions. Those were his to own.
You know one of the things she said to me during our little talk? "TVS, I don't want to come in between you and H."
And you didnt freakin deck her? Oops, I have to stop thinking out loud. My bad. ...
That's a lot of days to be together with no other distractions. H likes being by himself, and instead, he's gonna have her up his a$$ 24/7. Not to mention, H doesn't really like the beach - he hates being hot and sweaty, it makes him itchy. And he usually gets bored.
T, I'm going to tell you a story. My xh never liked being outdoors. The beach?forget it. I love the outdoors. Anyway, she loved the outdoors, too. She loved to hike, she loved to bike ride, the beach, etc. She even lived on a farm with chickens
And I remember thinking to myself, how the heck is that going to work? I mean, really. Good luck to her. I had been trying for years to get his as$ out of the house. LOL!
I also knew that was going to be their undoing. There was no way he was going to suddenly enjoy chickens!
And it was. I spoke to him about it once long after in my uRworthy way. Hee hee. I said, "Let me ask you something. Did you really think that you were going to live on a freakin farm with chickens? You dont even like dogs or cats. And your face hasnt seen the sun in years. How did you think that was going to work?"
His answer -"UR, I was crazy. Plain and simple. I tried those things for awhile, but, when she started insisting on it, I knew that just wasnt gonna happen. And I eventually realized we were two different people."
When I reminded him that I loved doing some of that stuff, too, he looked at me sadly and said, I know that UR. But you accepted that I didnt and did your own thing and she couldnt do that.
Also, that while he is off having a relaxing vacation with the twinkle twat, he knows I'll be having fun with the boys, creating happy memories that he is not a part of.
Yep and trust me when I tell you, he will be thinking of it.
His loss. Hope he chokes on his guilt sandwich.
You freakin crack me up.
But I'm still p!ssed
Go ahead and be pissed, T. Just dont hang onto it too long, ya know? That's giving both of them power. And I want you to have all the power, like a good Viking should.
