On the subject of GALing.. hard to do with his restrictions on where what and how I spend money... But Im working on it..
As far as friends... they all think Im crazy for trying to work it out, they all say theyd take him to the cleaners and watch the GF bail on him. They also think its insane that he is saying he wants a divorce. Most of our friends cant get their brains around it, we were "that" couple. Supporting my decision to try to work it out... and have since stopped telling me to take money from accounts, or get a good L.. one even suggested calling his mother!! LOL My MIL adores me, but this is her baby, her golden child.. More importantly, she has advanced heart disease, and frankly, Im not the one who should tell her.
It started out "I love you very much, I am not in love with you anymore.." later that day, it was, "I dont like who Ive become with you, I hate the person I am when we are together, I cant be a better person if I stay with you." Then, "I hate you, I regret the day I married you" Then, "I cant stay calm or keep my wits about me when we talk, my anger and resentment is out of control.." Last week, he told an aquaintance, "I love her, I will always love her. She is an amazing woman, with a huge heart, and made me a better person. She is doing her own thing, and has a GF" The constant mantra to me, "This is about my feelings, my perspectives, my wants. I know all you want is to take everything from me, and if I need to sell it all to get rid of you I will."
He insisted on talking about when I was leaving again today.. I tried to just validate and be positive, but he just said that my lack of response was forcing him to get ugly and that he knew all I wanted was all his money, and thats the only reason Ive been with him for 18 years.. as nicely as I could I explained that there are ways to do this with very little financial hardship on him... He doesnt want to see that. He wants to get me out of his house NOW. He is willing to do and pay whatever he has to, to accomplish that goal.
M:42 H:40 T: 18yrs M: 14yrs Open R/M: 18 years D19 S24 From PM 1st S 6 '08 Reconciled 8 '08 H BD, separated 5/9/13 Filed for S on 6/12/13 H committed to monogamous GF now
