Is it awful that I get amusement out of plotting revenge on my xSO? Like finally ripping up his favourite T-shirt that he loved and I just hated? Even better if I could put it on his dog to wear. I would pay to see the look on his face
B, I have been told to get a boyfriend, too. Not only do I not want a boyfriend right now, it may take awhile before I do. More issues! And the truth is that I do not want to use someone as a band-aid. I would not want to be used that way. In fact "recently separated and divorced" would make me run away licketedy-split.
Besides guilt, I often wonder if these MLCers really know what they are saying when they encourage us to date others? Most of us do not date, but I wonder how my xSO would feel about it if he had to see it? Close to bomb drop (and way before DBing), I said something off-hand, like wow, I might be dating again. He admitted that he would hate the man who dated me. I said, you don't want me. He simply repeated that he would hate the new guy. If I had to guess what these guys really want is for us to wait for them forever and stand still no matter what they do.
I have not heard from xSO - two months now. No idea what he is up to or who he is up to. I do still wonder if I want to contact him. After this past year, I just do not know if it would be worth further pain. I certainly do not look at him the same way. I never will. I loved him for loving me the way I was - craziness, quirks and all. But he no longer wants that.
Bright, you are always so optimistic. I do think he will realize that the grass is not always greener one day. But maybe he will have more distractions and other things he needs that he would prefer his life with her although he may regret losing ME. Who knows?
