Hi LF, It's been a while since I posted on your thread. Yeah, things really suckk right now. I get that.
But here's the thing: They ain't gonna get any better until you decide to make it so. When are you going to do this LF?
Look over your threads. You're stuck in the same place because you continue to feel sorry for yourself and require W to pull you out of your funk. This is not good! It does not make you attractive. Why would W want back in with you in this present state?
Accept that W may be gone for good, and make your life what you want it to be. You can do this LF, YOU HAVE TOO!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Yes I know i am stuck in my rutt for some time and i know it is not attractive at all to W and for that matter anyother person in my life.
I am doing the best I can to find what it is that will pull me out of this rutt. I know I am the only one that can do it. I have tried to do many many things. I just feel that yes im still married but. I do feel i need to let my self go. Not sure what i mean by this. But I have faith in God that he can restore my M. But I do not want to be in the place i am now. Again i feel very stuck alone and now that im home with my dad. I stay here for 5 min and i leave and smell bad. No im not looking for a reason not to go out. but it is what it is. My skin smell too after a shower.
Maybe i am looking for wife to pull me out but that would not be good. God I need alot of work.
I have been on sites for dating and well no one will date a married person or separated person. Been told that a few times. so is that something form God saying just wait. I do want to have my wife back. I also do not want to file for a D. I do want to talk to W but honestly i think i am afraid how i will act if i was to talk to her. Meaning anger i have held in at her for doing this. Cry beg all the wrong stuff.
I know I had to move out of my place not by my choice. had no place but to come to my dad's and I have only been here 2 nights and i can not take it. I want to buy but dont think i can wait. I miss what i had!!!!
just want to die at this point couse thats how i feel inside......
I know i am trying to do my best. But i can not seem to do anything here in my dad's house was was to depressing lungs chest eyes throught nose all hurt and head s well. i need to look at a new plan. I was going to stay in hotel tonight but cant do that yet
I hope my new coach can help me get out of my crap. Have a call at 9am.
all i can say is i truly dont see a reason for life at this point. i know this is not good or Gods will for me but why is he really allowing this the be this way. I effin smell like crap and smoke and my dads house. My health is not good. i have to make a move and make it fast. but i say there is a reason for everything just dont know what it is for this. I know everyone here is tired of hearing all this but this is the only place i have left.
im at work and dont want to be by anyone because i smell. not that there is anyone here but still. the smell is in my skin
help me God help me anyone how come i cant find that one switch that will turn things around. How long to i wait how long can i wait. life should be fun and it is nothing but crap. i hate it hate it hate it. Eff it all again.
He told me to stop DBing for not and for me to start doing things for me the things i did last year that made me feel better. As far as my dad's I just need to try and do things that will be helping me to put up with the negative environment until i find a place even if it is temp place that i can just recharge ME..
As far as the anniversary on jun 10th he said to just acknowledge it in the same manor she did last year. something like this.
"Hi just wanted to acknowledge this day to say i have not forgotten it. Yes it is a sad day but did not want to let it pass."
any input here would be good. I was going to wait to see if she says anything first but he did not say one way or the other. he said to just acknowledge it in the way she did last year.
I just was fearing it would set me up for disappointment. I have to try to remember not do expect anything back from her. I'm down already dont need that. But i will do what the BD said to.
Well something was telling me that i should call and talk to my 1st coach. So i called and made the appointment. so i talk to her on Thursday.
I mean what the 2nd one told me is ok but it is hard to have him know all that has happened. So i just want to see what my 1st coach says about the anniversary text.
That day will be hard for me as i have the call with DB coach at 4pm and my therapist at 5pm. it is going to be a twisted day for me .
maybe i am just looking to hard for what i can do. Or any kind of input from anyplace. i dont know just trying to work things out.
Well something was telling me that i should call and talk to my 1st coach. So i called and made the appointment. so i talk to her on Thursday.
I mean what the 2nd one told me is ok but it is hard to have him know all that has happened. So i just want to see what my 1st coach says about the anniversary text.
That day will be hard for me as i have the call with DB coach at 4pm and my therapist at 5pm. it is going to be a twisted day for me .
maybe i am just looking to hard for what i can do. Or any kind of input from anyplace. i dont know just trying to work things out.
Maybe your looking for someone to give you the answers you want to hear...
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
