oh Lord Mz. J I feel so badly for you, this has been going on for SO long.
"I think this really applies to my sitch. H came to me after 2 failed marriages, no contact with those 3 children, no contact with his parents for several years, little to no contact with his sisters. Get this, his life plan at that time was to buy a sailboat and find a deserted island to live out his days, away from all civilization. Can't imagine how I didn't see this as a GIANT RED FLAG. But no. He and I were "in love" and the rest is history."
Um, because you were 22 years old and in love? Don't be so hard on yourself my friend. Sailing away to a deserted island probably seemed romantic and dreamy to you lol! And I'm sure you fell for that line they all have, how the Xs did not understand them.
I feel really sorry for you MzJ. As I've mentioned, my husband has never been the most demonstrative of men, and no touching permitted at all in public ever. But over the years, he's made me feel ** beloved ** and that is a wonderful thing. I don't think you've ever had that. I might never have it again but at least I have memories.
I was pondering on that thread Snodderly recommended, written by a man who went thru MLC, only to have his wife go thru it after him. I wonder if she did it out of sheer resentment of all the years she spent standing, stuffing down all of her emotions. I too would like to be the one chased, pandered to, loved, for a change, with excuses made for my bad behavior
