When the girls came over for my birthday she gave me a warm hug and told me she missed me.
Great baby step!
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I think one of the things that really helped me is that I started seeing myself as an attractive human being again
Good, that is a critical step in recovering from BD. BD can be a tremendous blow to self-esteem, and it's a tough road getting that back again.
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Also I don't know if my girls would let me anytime soon...when I look at an attractive woman I always look to see if they are wearing a ring and my oldest daughter says "stop staring Papa" so I try hard not to look when I am with her...but still it is hard.
LOL! My S10 and D16 are like that as well, my eyes tend to wander and the kids are right there to jump my case if they do
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So when W was saying how she was depressed that kids don't call her when they are with me etc...I let her have it and I should have held back...
Yeah, next time just keep in mind that she doesn't want you to fix her, she just wants validation. "I can see why you'd feel depressed about that, I'm sorry you feel that way. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."
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but she just took a vacation with her band that cost her over $6000...I told her she should have vacationed with the girls...
You're right of course, but WAS's are letting their emotions run their life and you can't reason with them. Again, just validate. Really this is HER problem (depressed that the kids don't call) and SHE needs to work it out. Just give her emotional support while she navigates those waters.
