First of all, FY is right - there is no need to be disrespected.
BUT - I wouldn't interpret the silent treatment as disrespect.
She knows this bothers you, you need to change how you respond. Don't be interested in her. Be more interested in everything else BUT her. Don't ask about her, don't share.
Now's not the time to work on communication in your R. That can come later. I mean, how can you work on serious adult communication with someone who has a teenager mentality? You can't.
Believe me, I completely understand where you're coming from. My H is the male version of your wife - secretive, immature.
But when I stopped being interested in him, AND stopped sharing things about me (especially my plans), he's started to become interested in me again.
And he sure as hell doesn't like it when he's not privy to what I'm doing.
Of course she's going to blame you, that's what they do. So much easier than accepting the blame themselves.
Keep being that great dad - you can't go wrong there
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
