Not confused...trying to keep hope alive!!!

[BRNR]

You've had some serious talks w/your children. I wouldn't have any more discussions w/them about the matter for a while. If they come to you to talk, then fine...but don't raise the subject w/them again. Your one son has already said he's tired of discussing it. They are kids and they want to think about fun things and are looking forward to summer. What is going on between you and your h is very heavy and deep for them and they are trying to find a ray of sunshine to focus on. Come here to vent or talk.

Yes Snodderly, totally agree! I need to give them that sunshine they are looking for. Not talking about it to them anymore...I am not beating myself up over it, but know that I did this during an emotional state, which was unfair to them. I think they will forgive me for it one day, and understand that I was coming from a place of love.

Also thank you for your kind words. It is amazing how a persons self perception is different than how others see them. Along with acceptance I think I want to work on believing and feeling how I am perceived by others...which honestly is a lot better than I feel about myself these days. I don't know why I can't see that I am amazing, but in time if I start believing, I am sure I will.

Snodderly, you are amazing too! I am not sure your age, or what you look like, or your demeanor, but when you respond to me I hear that tough love. It is a smack with the 2x4 and a hug after words...your real life friends and family are truly lucky people to have you in their life.

So, going to focus on work at the moment, and take my time truly focusing on the task at hand at any given moment. My better days are ahead of me, and I want the negative stuff gone so I can embrace it whole heartedly. I know it will take time, but that is where I am going to focus my energy.

Thank you (((Snodderly)))....for everything!