Not confused...trying to keep hope alive!!!

[BRNR]

Thank you WH and GM -

I did feel through my emotions last night, and I am going to continue feeling through them and not stuff them down deep. That is what I have done in order to stand strong for my children, but the cost has been too great I feel to continue doing this...

Thank you everyone for your support and ((((HUGS))))! I miss that now more than ever. I have had no affection from friends and/or family alike, rather more of the same advice of moving on, get a man, and these things happen and are normal now a days! I will be burying myself in my emotions when I have time...I need to do that for me to get over what I have lost. Who knows why I waited so long...call me deluded I guess.

I reflect on my post last night and see how much emotion is left in me and I am glad that I have any emotions left to explore rather than be cold and dead to the world.

None of us were perfect in our marriages. But that doesn't give someone a green light to leave the family and have an affair. Marriage is a about trust, love, communication, doing the right thing. It's about working at it not walking away from it.

You are right WH. The unfortunate is that even while I truly, deep down in my heart believe this, it does leave me broken to know that what H and I had wasn't worth the effort. Something else I have to live with...and right now call me slighted, but this wound has changed my values on marriage...I am not sure that I can ever endure another one. Not to my H, and not to anyone, but I don't have that crystal ball either, so I am not closed to it, just unsure about it.

Thank you everyone for enduring my emotional state. I am no better today, but I need to work on this and hope I can release enough tears to really get past everything that has happened. As I said my goal is acceptance. Total acceptance.