post-D with WAW

[azguy]

Thanks for asking, reb.

I'm slowly moving into the dating scene. The process has been a great ego boost. I've had a couple dates so far, and some nice, friendly times with two of the women. After a year of trying to understand how I could have been so unattractive to my XW that she could leave me, it's helpful to have some reassurance that others don't necessarily see me that way. Of course, since the divorce, I've improved my confidence quite a lot. The fundamental change, is that I am now comfortable with how I see myself and my changes. I'm at over a year since my XW moved out now, and it's been sort of shocking to remember where I was, emotionally a year ago. Self esteem in the toilet, desperate for any way of getting my estranged W's attention. Now it seems to have finally settled down.

I still get minimal contact from my XW. I try not to read too much into that. Other than wanting to keep up a bit more of a relationship for the sake of our S, I have gradually come to accept that this is all she has to give. I've also noticed that my anger and resentment is now largely gone, while hers still seems to be there. It's odd; I think a lot of my anger during the relationship was a sort of trying to bond with her. I hope she can work through that, but it's now not my issue any more.

So, not the path I envisioned when I started earlier this year, but it's a path I'm happy with.