Oh Karma, you are going to have your work cut out for you...
Soooo....
H comes home from golf this evening in a great mood. He golfed well, and was excited about it. He has always been a good golfer, but he golfed terribly all last spring and summer, and this seemed to add to his misery. He would come home each week from golf and say that he was disgusted with himself.
So after we talked about his golfing and my evening with the boys, he springs this on me...
"Hey, the guy at golf league who booked the trip said that we can get a free day of golf with our package - do you care if I stay an extra day?"
Me on the outside, totally calm demeanor, told him it is up to him if he would like to stay an extra day. Me on the inside - visualize me smashing his golf clubs with a hammer while the music from "Psycho" plays in the background.
He is really testing my patience. Big time.
I should have known with the recent surge of texting, that some sh!t was brewing. So predictable.
He says to me, " You know that's when my sister will be in?" And I say yes. He says that he couldn't believe it when his mom said the dates yesterday, that he felt bad.
I wanted to say something like, "You must feel really bad if you're staying an extra day ", but I refrained.
I said we would still go to the places we had planned. He made a comment that it would probably be more fun without him anyway. I said something like - I don't know about that, I think you will be missed- and left it at that.
I don't even know how I'm feeling right now, I thought I'd be more angry. Maybe that will come as the trip gets closer.
It's so disappointing. I'm tired of being disappointed. Forget having no expectations... I feel like I should just continually expect the worst from my H. How sad.
Linda you had asked me awhile ago if I ever thought about saying no when H asks to do things. Of course I have! But Snodderly and UW set me straight about getting out of his way, and getting myself out of that "parent" role. Truly, he has to decide what he does/doesn't do, it's not my place to decide for him.
He has made a huge f- ing mess of his life, and it is going to be up to him to clean it up. If he even ever gets to that point...
Still trying to put my broken heart back together
On the GAL front, I just finished a book that was really good, and had a very pertinent message for all looking to live life to the fullest - it was Mitch Albom's "The Time Keeper". It's worth checking out.
Going to try not to stew too much and get some sleep
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
But Snodderly and UW set me straight about getting out of his way, and getting myself out of that "parent" role. Truly, he has to decide what he does/doesn't do, it's not my place to decide for him. 
